Unleashing Strengths: How to Empower Children Beyond Disabilities
Have you ever felt different?
One day as I was teaching elementary school. My students were at recess and I was checking my emails and scanning the subject lines to determine what emails were the highest priority. As I did that, one email popped out at me. There it was, in large font: "Welcome to Japan!" Oh my goodness!!! I could not believe it. I had applied and now officially been accepted to teach overseas in Japan.
As the idea sunk in, I felt everything was about to change for me. I was about to have a new job, a new school, new opportunities and move to a new country. Was I ready?
The months leading up to my move were a whirlwind. I wrapped up the school year with my third graders, packed my classroom, and my personal belongings. Through the tears of happiness and nerves, I said my goodbyes.
On the plane to Japan, I was a mess. All the “what if’s” raced in my head. What if this was a mistake? What if I didn't fit in? What if I wasn't good enough?
Those first few months in Japan were marked by loneliness and tears. I felt like an outsider, and the cultural differences only amplified my feelings of isolation. It was challenging to communicate, and I made cultural missteps daily.
Picture this:
I extended my hand when I met someone new, instead of bowing.
I didn’t know how to order food, because I couldn't read or speak the language.
I definitely felt embarrassed when I entered a Japanese home and forgot to take my shoes off.
I felt judged for being different and not understanding how to fit in.
The truth was, I was different.
I realized that I was experiencing a teeny-tiny fraction of what many neurodivergent children feel like daily. Neurodivergent is a term that is used to describe people who think, act, behave differently than their peers. People with ADHD, Autism, Down Syndrome, and Learning Disabilities can be considered neurodivergent.
They often feel lost and confused. Everyday and at a much, much, much larger scale.
People with ADHD might have six racing thoughts as they are meeting someone and miss hearing their name.
People with Autism may flap their hands to soothe themselves or overshare on a topic.
People with anxiety might be consumed with the “what if’s” in their thoughts and miss a learning opportunity.
As a teacher with three decades of experience and as an advocate, I've encountered hundreds of children who are misunderstood. Labeled by their disabilities rather than recognized for their unique strengths. Despite the dedicated efforts of many teachers and parents, the system often fails to see these children beyond their diagnoses.
When I hear, “well the student has Autism” or “Someone with his cognitive profile”, I just get fired up! can literally feel my neck getting red, my teeth clenching and the anger building up in me.
I think to myself… That’s it? The child was just labeled with a certain diagnosis. With that diagnosis there lies assumptions. And I feel as if people stop there. They take the diagnosis and close their minds to seeing who this child really is. Why aren’t they open minded enough to hear the diagnosis AND ask questions?
Neurodiverse children are often seen as 'different,' and society tends to focus on their limitations rather than their abilities. I'm here to advocate for a systematic change. Instead of focusing on what they can't do and what others perceive as a weakness, I wish we were all curious to ask, “WHAT can they do? What are their strengths?”
When I felt different in Japan, I walked in their shoes for just a fraction of a second, so to speak. I felt the isolation. And I understood the judgment.
At night and on the weekends, I felt how it was to be different. Being American and learning Japanese culture. However, during the school day, I knew I had unique gifts to offer the world as a teacher. I was given opportunities to use my strengths teaching American children whose military families were stationed in Japan and I shined! I was in my “genius zone”.
Neurodivergent students can be different. However, their so-called "weird”, “odd” and “different behaviors” can actually be seen as strengths. For example:
Instead of labeling behavior as 'defiant,' we can recognize it as 'persistent.'
Instead of 'attention-seeking,' we can acknowledge 'excitement, curiosity, and imagination.'
And Instead of 'avoidant' or 'stubborn,' we can celebrate 'resilience.'
So…Whether you're a parent, teacher, or adult with a neurodivergent child in your life, you have the power to make a difference. Start with the acronym SEE: S-E-E
See their abilities, not just their disabilities.
Educate for inclusion; understand their world.
Embrace every child for who they are and strive to let them shine.
This SEE acronym will help us focus on children's strengths, unlock their potential, and to remind them that their disabilities do not define or limit them.
Eventually, I learned some of the Japanese language and culture and I even adopted some traditions as my own. And…
People who are considered neurodivergent are never going to be neurotypical. This is part of their make-up. Let’s stop trying to fit them into our world and instead celebrate their unique strengths.
Theodore Roosevelt once said, "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." together, we can create a world where every child is recognized and empowered beyond their disabilities.