Is Your Child's Teacher Being Dismissive?

Backpacks are packed.
Lunches are packed.
Bus passes and car drop off schedules double checked.
Your child has had their walk-through time in their classroom and meet their teacher.

When YOU meet their teacher, she appears a “bit cold.” You give her the benefit of the doubt, that maybe she’s overwhelmed with all her new students and new parents. 

The first day of school, you happen to see her as you drop off your child in their classroom. You remind her who your child is. You mention that she is getting tested for special needs. Her body language and response of “oh, ok” feels dismissive. 

This is not a great first impression, right? You are already nervous and ball full of feelings that your child is being evaluated for special needs. You have a lot of feelings you are still processing. And opposite of all the social media posts of mama’s jumping for joy that their children are going back to school, you are actually sad. You loved your summer and time with your children. Sending them to school is going to be an adjustment for them and you! Feeling like the adult you are leaving your child with is dismissive, does not calm your nerves. 

I’m going to ask you step back and take a moment to pause. Your perception is your reality. You may have definitely felt “dismissed”. It also could have been a mix of her behavior and your expectations. 

Teachers are human too. Teachers are overwhelmed and sometimes a mixed bag of emotions the first couple of days/week,s too. 

It’s possible, you mentioning your child getting tested caught her off guard. 

Not that you asked for it, but I’m going to make a suggestion. After all, this is your relationship for the next 9 months. Isn’t it better to work collaboratively with your child’s teacher? 

My suggestion would be to first take a breathe. Then write an email to your child’s teacher. Write something like this. You can use my words, but also make it sounds like you. 

“Dear Mrs. Smith, 

I am so glad that Sally is in your class this school year. I realize I was trying to tell you some important Information in passing. That’s not fair, for anyone. I would love 10 minutes to chat this week. When is a great time to connect that we both can give our conversation the attention it deserves? Do you have 10 minutes before, during, or after school this week? 

Looking forward to connecting and being a positive, collaborative team for Sally. 

Please let me know via email. I can come into school. If you’d rather have a phone call, please use my cell phone number (xxx-xxx-xxxx), that’s the best way to reach me. 

Positive, Collaborative Mama”

I hope this sample letter helps. Please let me know! 

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